When it comes to weddings, there are all kinds of traditions and rules of etiquette. Too many, some would say. They can be downright stifling. But times have changed, and the new bride-to-be is breaking out of the mold and doing her own thing!

In matters of etiquette, I'm frequently asked by engaged couples "What are we SUPPOSED to do?" My reply: "Do what you like!" Maybe this is just because I'm a natural born rebel. You give me a system, I'll pretty much buck it 99% of the time. But it's not just my anti-establishment sentiment driving this advice. There are some practical reasons behind it as well.

A great example: MONEY. The average cost of a wedding and reception is about $28,000. Some people just don't have that to spend and are not willing to go into debt (no matter how important a wedding is). How can you get the fairy-tale wedding budget in line with your reality? Skip out on some of the traditions. Ditch the guest favors, which typically end up left behind by guests. Or scrap the programs--most of your guests are friends and family who know each other anyway. And do you really need an outline for a ceremony that actually lasts all of 20 minutes? It's not like you're spending an hour at the symphony.

Even more important than the money you'll save is the FREEDOM you'll experience! Imagine an event that represents YOU as a couple...your priorities, your preferences. Isn't that what this is about anyway? Don't be a slave to passé expectations. Your guests probably won't mind a bit if they don't have to participate in the same old pomp & circumstance (remember the dreaded Receiving Line?).

So, if you love the traditions and want to go all out, more power to you! But if you want to be a part of the evolution towards weddings where you decide what's right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable, there's nothing stopping you.

Not even Ms. Manners.